|The Tween practicing violin.|
|The Threenager's drawing of a Whale Shark: Blue marker on a white paper.|
As we walked toward the car, the Husband said to me, "It looks like you're having a harder time with this than I am even." and I didn't say anything, because I knew he was right. Instead, the tears that were threatening before poured down my cheeks as we walked out of the school into the cool Minnesota breeze. As I sat down in the car, I thought to myself what I tell Mom-Friends all the time... "This too shall pass. Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't fear, Mama, everything is going to be alright." I can't tell you how many times I've said these things to friends... Friends who were struggling, or who found out that their child is on the autism spectrum, or has a disability that they had never envisioned as they saw their beautiful, precious, perfect unborn child by ultrasound, or held him on her bare chest immediately after he was born, or while decorating the nursery and reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting".
And I thought... How must my Mother have felt???
She spent her entire pregnancy dreaming, hoping, getting to know this perfect little baby inside of her, growing, kicking, even the tiny little hiccups. She labored for hours upon hours to bring me into this world, knowing with every horrendous contraction that she was about to give the most incredible gift possible, the gift of life. And then, there I was... Beautiful, but different. Wonderful, but presenting a new world filled with uncertainty...
They handed her this stunning baby girl, with the white hair of an angel, blue grey eyes filled with the sky on one of those perfectly peaceful dreary days, and the fairest skin imaginable. And they told her...
"She has albinism. She may be blind."
And, she cried. My grandma cried. My family cried. This was not what they had dreamt of. This was not what they had hoped for, or prayed for, or expected. This was not what they knew. And they worried. And they feared. Would she be blind? What would she see? Would she succeed? Would she make friends? Would she be ok?
"Don't Fear Mama. Every Little Thing is Going to Be Ok."
She WILL be ok, she will be more than ok, and so will you. She has YOU and YOU are perfect for her. She will face challenges, struggles, adversity. She will fail sometimes. But, she will learn. She will find her way and YOU will help her. She will amaze you! She will do great things. She will do hard things. She will find and embrace her beauty and differences--it might take a while, but it will happen. Believe in her. Believe in yourself. Believe in the dreams you had all of those months as you waited to meet her and wondered who she would be. Those dreams are still there, getting to them just looks a little different now.
And, I know that whatever this is that's going on with our Threenager... Whether it's Three, or whether there's something more, it's going to be ok. I need not fear. I need not worry. She is our precious gift, and we are perfect for her. Every little thing is going to be ok.
|Closeup of Katie and Evie reading a book together. Evie is sitting next|
to Katie in our oversized living room chair and pointing at the book.